The Red Silk book collaboration grew out of Womanspace's Red Tent project, inspired by author Anita Diamant's work, The Red Tent, as a 'celebration of women's lives — a testimonial to the gifts and challenges of life as a woman, from birth to death, and the many passages in between.' The book's title 'comes from the poem Red Silk Sheets by Glenda Bailey-Mershon.'

Deep Questions, Writer's Block

Published in 'Red Silk: A Red Tent Anthology'

By Chris Dunmire, Proet in Motion

As a 7-year member and ambassador to the life-affirming non-profit organization Womanspace in Rockford, Illinois, I couldn't pass up the invitation this Spring to submit several pieces of writing, my own blend of 'proetry' (prose + poetry) for consideration into a book project they were publishing in celebration of their 35-year anniversary.

The call for writers prompted:

“What has formed your image(s) of yourself as the woman you are…or are meant to be? What has transformed your life as a woman growing into your own power and wholeness…as a woman giving birth to your own soul?”

As you might imagine, words didn't come fast or easy for this rich, deep line of questioning. And for weeks words didn't come at all. But when the submission deadline loomed only four days away, I had to make a decision. Am I going to do this or not?

During my writer's block long contemplation, I wondered which version of myself would respond. Which memories and emotions would surface. What transformation(s) would I share. From what perspective of my history would I write from?

And then there was craft. Pictures are painted with words. What about beautiful writing? Crafting a masterpiece?

The pressure one faces in the possibility of publication is laden with temptations. A piece of writing is like a performance. An acting role that narrates a story with senses and emotion. With beauty and truth. With integrity and authenticity. With embellishment and exaggeration. With deflection and dishonesty.

This pressure to perform while being true to myself naturally led to writer's block, a familiar manifestation of creative 'no-flow' commonly brought on by feelings of overwhelm, fear, self-doubt, procrastination, unrealistic expectations, and perfectionism.

What if I lower my expectations and just write honestly?

I had to try. And when I gave myself that permission, the words began to trickle.

In the space of two days, I produced five very different pieces of writing. Four were revised and polished for submission. One made it through the editorial review process to publication onto a 2-page spread of Red Silk.

Lustrous Pearl: 110 words, 52 lines, 13 stanzas, 2 pages. Unlimited meaning.

I was thrilled. For my first try at publication in an anthology I didn't see it as 75% rejection. I saw it as 25% more success in the column marked Creative Dreams.

Isn't it all about perspective?

And in this process I also realized that there was no one answer to the question. Anger, sadness, hopelessness, hopefulness, love, growth, creativity, self-acceptance and happiness all emerged through the light of honesty. What resulted was beautiful writing to me. More importantly, transforming.

Whether my words saw the inked side of a printing press didn't matter in the end. The creative work had served its purpose for me and letting it go out into the world meant allowing others to have their own experience with it. An editorial board decided a small portion of my work fit their book vision:

"Red Silk is a celebration of women's lives. ... We invite you to savor these testimonies of the gifts and challenges of life as a woman, from birth to death, and the many significant passages in between. As you read the pages within this anthology, we trust that you will be as moved and delighted as we are by the sparkling and unflinching poetry and prose from woman around the world."

The evening I received my copy of Red Silk I was with two very dear friends who came into my life because of Womanspace. Both, as others, are intertwined between the lines in the latter stanzas of Lustrous Pearl, as a testimony to the loving support I've received from this community in becoming 'who I am meant to be.'

Under the stars of the dark summer night in mosquito-infested humidity, I opened the book and read my published piece to my two friends from behind a wooden podium in the center of the empty Anjali Pavilion at Womanspace. •

P.S. A Morningstar Rising is a new inspiring video about Womanspace. Enjoy this beautiful presentation, and gain more insight into why this consciousness-raising organization is so special to me.

© 2011 Chris Dunmire. All rights reserved.