
Politically Correct Free-Range Ant Farm Humor
By Chris Dunmire, Creative Slush Ant Caretaker
I can't tell you how much fun I had designing this novelty joke free-range ant farm product kit in Nit Wits comic #42 ("PC Ant Farm"). Well yes I can. It was big, ant hill-sized fun! (However, getting the ants to stay in place for the photo shoot was quite the challenge.)
This humorous idea was conceived during my inaugural adventures with Zen gardening (or what I've playfully dubbed as Creative Energy Rakey) which you can read about in my 26 Ways to Nurture Your Creative Life series. And you can print my exclusive humor free-range ant farm poster too (like the one pictured above, but much, much bigger).
See, sandboxes aren't just for kids and kitties. You can rake loose all kinds of creative ideas from your brain just by doodling around in an open pan of sand or a Zen garden. A free-range ant farm? Absurd, I know! If the ants stay around even for the first hour, you'll be lucky.
Here's what's in this for you: creative empowerment. Creativity is all about bringing things together — old and new — to improve upon ideas or to create something innovative, novel, and useful that didn't exist before. Examples include:
- A new process that can save employees time.
- A tweaked product better for the environment.
- A new way or thinking or acting that benefits all with a common vision or goal.
I urge you to exercise your creative power and play with ideas. Even the impossible ones. Somebody long ago played with the idea of taking horses off carriages and replacing them with wheels. "Horsefeathers!" said some (although they must have believed in flying mares, with the feathers and all...). But guess what? That horse-less carriage has become today's automobile. Now we can drive our cars to the race track and watch the horses run (hey, they should have put those horses on carriages!).
So, now that I've got this free-range ant farm idea on the table, let me share some close-ups of the neat-o design elements I crafted just for this pretend product, which you won't find on any retail shelf soon. Why? Because it's a joke — a playful twist on the traditional ant farm, and purely for entertainment purposes (although if you're a toy maker agent and think this is the next hula-hoop, have your people call mine).
I present...
Exhibit A:
The free-range ant farm package logo has a nifty farm silo and fence integrated into the name. It's green too — good for the environment and for you. Makes you feel farmy, doesn't it?
Exhibit B:

The free-range ant farm is PETA* approved because unlike traditional plastic-encased, low-ventilation ant farms half-filled with sand (and half-crammed with some molded farm yard decoration), it doesn't trap ants into a lifetime of slave tunnel-digging labor. Conversely, my ant-pampering farm:
- lays flat
- is roomy and healthy
- has no plastic barriers
- requires no hard ant labor
- and allows ants to roam free
Oh, the asterisk. It simply notes: "Despite pleasant conditions, ants may relocate." Well... I suppose that's the trade-off, meaning OFF the ants will go!
So, to wrap this up, I'd like to thank the following ants who modeled for the photo shoot in exchange for a picnic. Surely you've seen the following ants crawling around the Creative Slush header and other Nit Wits comics like Nit Wits #17: Antagonize: Adam, Nick, Daisy, Jasper, and Cornelius. The rest were extras called in from an antgency, and I thank them too. •
* PETA is an acronym for "Please Enjoy The Ants" and not to be confused with an animal rights organization of a similar name. Although, I think they would wholeheartedly embrace this wonderful, pro-ant product, don't you? :-)
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