The World's Best Weight-Loss Diet Cookies Ever

Gingerbread Men that RUN AWAY!

By Chris Dunmire, Experienced Weight Gainer

Let's put great-tasting, satiating sweets and treats aside for a moment to discuss how you're going to address your New Year's Resolution "Eat more healthy" next year.

Seriously. Eating healthy means getting good nutrition — essential vitamins and minerals — through naturally occurring foods: vegetables, fruits, nuts, whole grains... you know. And eating more healthy as a NYR usually means you're willing to cut out the junk (at least through January 3rd) that's been making you moody and miserable, lethargic and unmotivated, and keeping you from being your optimally fit energetic self.

If you have a few pounds to whittle away for your NYR, you've probably lined up some bandwagons to roll with after your last New Year's Eve toast. Join an online calorie-counting community? Comparing local gym memberships? And wasn't that you on Facebook updating your status with a "pounds lost" icon?

Sweet Weight-Loss Secret (Now Out of the Bag)

Before you invest heavily in the latest fitness fads and weight-loss gimmicks to accompany you on your annual "I'm-starting-a-diet-and-joining-a-gym-January-first" tour, consider this radical solution: Try to eat some cookies. Not just any cookies (like Mike Moreno's 17 Day Diet cookies or Mrs. Field's secret recipe cookies), but rather the health- and fitness-promoting cookies devised by Dunmire Labs* to support good nutrition and weight management. I present: Runaway Gingerbread Man Weight-Loss Cookies.

No, no, these cookies aren't expensive pre-packaged meal-replacement bars or fiber-packed chunks of sticks and twigs to trick your body into thinking it's full. These cookies are the real deal: sugar-laden, butter-soaked, sweet molasses-dripping entities willing and waiting for just desserts . . . that is, if you can manage to eat one. Remember, I said try.

Yes, they are cute. But that's never stopped you from snarfing down smiling goldfish crackers or Keebler E.L. Fudges, has it? So going beyond mere cuddly appearances, the real secret ingredient to the success of RGM cookies is they've been stacked and packaged in a green room in Fairy Tale Studios where hoards of the "smarter" out-foxing ones gathered after crossing the river without getting eaten. Their stories of how vary, and some have gone through some long recovery periods, but you can imagine how restless they are having waited all this time to be called back to work.

The good news is they're chock-full of energy, ready to run and sing — which you'll soon see how this works to your weight-loss advantage.

Would you agree that the best diet cookie is the one that you don't eat?

Problem: It's late-night and you're craving carbs, tempted to eat something sweet and break your resolve.

Solution: Open up a bag of Runaway Gingerbread Man Cookies. Pull one out, and before you know it, he wiggles out of your hand, jumps to the floor, and runs away. What could be better for your diet than that!

5 Ways Runaway Gingerbread Man Cookies Will Help You Lose Weight:

1. Food that runs away cannot be consumed. As soon as you open the package, the cookies WILL climb out and run away (or wiggle out of your hand before you know which end is up).


2. Fast food raises your metabolism. If you run after a cookie hoping to taste its delicious crunchy sweet goodness, you'll burn tons of calories chasing him and get a good workout to boot.


3. Annoying food is hard to stomach. His constant taunting, "Run, run, as fast as you can..." is seductive personal training at its best. You can't ignore his challenge and it's the cheapest training around. Look at all the money you'll save trying to prove him wrong! (And if you prefer a female cookie who really kicks butt, just wait for the release of Jellyann, who'll be hawking her own line of weight-loss cookie cutters on the next season of The Biggest Loser.)


4. No havoc gets wreaked on your system (physical or mental). By not eating even one cookie, you'll save yourself from bad-carb blood-sugar spikes and crashing, woes of eater's remorse, and guilt from possibly devouring a family cookie-man with baby ginger snaps at home. (See Nutrition Facts.)


5. Seconds are always easy to resist. Should you somehow find the stamina to out-fox the cookie and find it gleefully in your snout, you'll be sweaty, out of breath, and find it mighty crumby anyway. Would you soon go through all of that again for another? •

* My fake company known for its highly-imaginative problem-solving inventions like the Creativity Patch, Growing Money Plant, New Year's Resolutions Worksheet, and The Amazing Creativity Tool.

© 2010 Chris Dunmire www.chrisdunmire.com All rights reserved.