Reading My Mind: Words are Thoughts Posted Mar-28-2007
Chris's Checklist of Amazing Creative Accomplishments

[ X ] Read my work out loud to an audience
at Barnes & Noble bookstore.

This past Saturday night I possessed the courage and self-confidence to read two of my short writings to a group of strangers gathered at a Barnes & Noble bookstore for a non-profit fundraiser book fair event. Besides reading my winning third-grade essay out loud to a group of parents when I was eight years old, this was the first time I've stood tall in front of an audience to read my work.

I was invited to read at this event by the facilitator of the Writer's Group I belong to, along with five other members who shared their own poetry, essays, stories, musings, and reflective writings. The facilitator assured me earlier in the week that we wouldn't be reading through a microphone, so that was a comforting variable to my accepting the invitation to participate.

The pieces I chose to read reflected two themes I navigate towards the most: humor and introspection. The first was my tongue-in-cheek piece titled "Five Ways to Stay Creatively Blocked", and the second was a piece I wrote during a low-energy dip last week titled "Sometimes the Tides are Low." Both were last-minute choices I decided on after accepting that if I was going to make a fool of myself or invite criticism, it would be on my terms. I would share authentic pieces of myself — not contrived works designed to impress an audience. It was the right choice.

Our group was scheduled to read between 6 and 7 PM and a well-known published poet in our community was scheduled to read excerpts of her work after us between 7 and 8 PM. I arrived at the Barnes & Noble around 6:15 and made my way back towards the History section where the Writer's Group was reading. Imagine my shock and horror when I first heard, then saw, the microphone!

The microphone was unsettling, but I didn't really get nervous until about five minutes before I went on, so I tried to psyche myself up by getting out of my seat and stretching my legs while slipping into a nearby book aisle to take some calming breaths. I laughed as soon as I realized I was standing in the "Psychology" section and spotted a big book at eye-level with a title like "How to Overcome Stress and Anxiety". The first thought that came to mind was I'm going to use this as material! And so I did.

I walked calmly up to the podium after my name was announced and the first thing I said into the microphone after introducing myself was "First of all, I was assured there would be no microphone for this reading... but heeere it is!" I grinned and eyed the microphone while warming up to it. Then I relished telling the audience what just transpired in the Psychology section and quipped that I read an entire chapter out of that anxiety book to calm me down for the reading.

I channeled more of my nervous energy into this warm-up comedy act to disarm the audience (and myself) and wisely chose to read my humor piece first. Midway through the second piece I found myself inexplicably calm, cool, and collected, making eye-contact, inserting pauses, and gesturing at important intervals. I wasn't just reading, I was performing! That insecure eight-year-old child had grown up into a capable woman who was telling the world that she was indeed a Writer and no microphone was going to take that away! I felt so true to myself up there and it didn't matter one lick what anyone thought, judged, or projected onto me. (I have to admit, the absence of rotten fruit and vegetables sailing past my head was an affirming sign.)

In that ten-minute span of time I'm convinced that I experienced an awesome space of honor, acceptance, and respect for myself, the creative process, and the other participants. I was mindful of the 'Art of Allowing' the audience to respond collectively and individually according to their own needs and desires. We were communicating, co-creating, and joining together for a shared experience in a safe environment of exploration and expression — perhaps not coincidentally in a bookstore with volumes of other people's ideas and an unlimited potential for learning and expanding our own horizons.

I finished my readings and thanked the audience. They applauded me, and inside, I applauded them. Something extremely important unfolded for me — for all of us — on Saturday night. And that microphone... well, it only amplified the experience. •

Read the follow-up piece to this in Revealing Our Thoughts.

© 2007 Chris Dunmire www.chrisdunmire.com. All rights reserved.