The Choices We Make  Posted
Feb-10-2005
In the span of a half-hour, I received
two bits of news from two different sources. After contemplating
the second, the
thought "selling your soul" came to mind and propelled
me to start writing what was on my mind.
The first news came today at six o'clock from our real estate
agent John. We have a house on the market and had significant
interest in it after a weekend of showings. After a day of
high-strung phone negotiations, one buyer decided to accept
our terms, with an "earnest" contract forthcoming
in the morning. Needless to say, relief and exuberance ensued.
Fifteen minutes later I opened my inbox and found an e-mail
from my Mom titled "Bad News". With much trepidation,
I opened and read her message. Another American soldier was
killed in Iraq — this time, it was someone I knew.
Jonathan entered into my life when he was in diapers. My older
sister baby-sat him along with his sister at our house when
I was 11. He was an adorable baby with deep blue eyes and curly
blonde hair. And a smile that just made you melt.
A few years later we moved away from that house and I never
saw Jonathan again. I heard a few things about him through
the years from family members who kept in touch with his relatives.
I believe the last bit of news was that Jonathan joined the
Marines. Today I learned where that choice ultimately led
him. At 22, Jonathan left this world with a gun in his hands.
It's not unthinkable that his gun cut short someone else's
life as well. War sucks, no matter who "wins." Many
more lose.
More devastating was the fact that Jonathan
died only a week before his tour of duty was to end.
I found
this
information in an article online at www.kmox.com dated
January 29, 2005:
Illinois Marine Killed In Iraq
Jonathan Beatty Dies One Week Before Tour Of Duty Was To End
A marine from Illinois has been killed in Iraq, just one week
before his tour of duty was scheduled to end. The Defense Department
says 22-year-old Marine Corporal Jonathan Beatty died Thursday
from hostile action. Beatty's mother and stepfather were informed
of his death at their Ottawa home Thursday. The day before
Beatty e-mailed his family that he would return to North Carolina
next week. That would have ended his second tour of duty in
Iraq.
The thought, "selling your soul" popped into my
mind after taking all of this in. The excitement of selling
my old house juxtaposed with mourning the loss of a young life
made me realize that both entailed some kind of transformation
—
a leaving behind… a moving on. Thus, "selling your
soul" defined itself as purposely giving something of
value up in exchange for something else.
I was raised with the belief that the soul is in essence,
who you are. Many people associate "selling your soul" with
the devil. I think we sell our souls in ways we don't acknowledge.
For instance, isn't working at a job for 40 hours a week in
exchange for money and benefits selling your soul? I remember
coming home from my corporate job feeling drained —- wishing there were more hours in a day so I could
do the things I
wanted to do. Instead, I went to work, came home, made dinner,
and had an hour or two left over before I had to get back to
bed and ready myself for the next day. (My plan to change
that was detailed in Funday.)
On a symbolic level, I feel like I'm selling part of
my soul as I ready to hand over a house filled with memories
to someone else. Of course I'll retain the memories, but there's
something significant about the environment they were created
in. I won't have that space available to me anymore — once
someone else move in, things just change.
And then there's Jonathan enrolling himself into the Marines.
For certain compensations, he understood that obedience to
specific law and order was required back. The nature of the
military is indeed a risky one. And in time of war, that obedience
lead to the ultimate sacrifice… of
soul.
You will be missed, Jonathan. (© 2005 Chris Dunmire) •
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