Thirty-Three  Posted
Apr-04-2005
Annual Day of Reflection
Growing older is a process we can't get around. It
doesn't matter how much money we have or how many plastic
surgeries
we have done to us, aging is inevitable. (For the record, I
hope to remain 100% natural for a lifetime.)
When I was 10, I didn't realize the difference between 30-
40- and 50-year-olds. I lumped all adults into one category:
old. In my twenties, I quickly realized the differences between
age groups and learned that each season of life had certain
dynamics to it.
Having passed through my 'roaring 20s', I look through the
rearview mirror and understand why I had so many struggles
growing into my own. Now in my 30s, I'm beginning to dive deeper
into the 'wise world' of adulthood, and frankly, I've been
feeling odd waves of fear washing over me.
For instance: I'll be watching old Tom
and Jerry cartoons
on the Boomerang channel. Somewhere between Tom stepping on
the end of a hoe and getting smacked in the face, and Jerry
wedging himself up through the hose spigot, I suddenly realize
that I'll never be a teenager or a twenty-something again.
Those days are gone. Whatever I did or didn't do no longer
matters. And that frightens me.
What do I have to look forward to now? Society tells me that
if I want children, I better keep up with my biological clock
before it runs out. Oh, and then there's the onset of perimenopause
that I get to embrace somewhere in my late 30s, before I hit
FORTY. (Why isn't there a "u" in forty? I mean, it's
in the number four, after all.) Meanwhile, I get to witness
the aging process going on in my physical being… and
let me tell you, nutrition and exercise are becoming my number
one focus at
this stage. And let's not leave out all of the time I waste
doing age-related math in my head, "My age times two equals
my Dad's age!"
When you're 10, you have your whole life in front of you.
When you're 20, you embrace the freedom of early adulthood.
And when you're 30, not only do you look at teenagers and think, "Man,
they don't have a clue!" but also think, "I'm getting
old."
Kids, Kids, Kids
Here's another twist on the whole growing up thing: Children.
I think having them makes people feel older than they are.
I have several same-aged friends who are parents, and they
are forced to live in another dimension all together. My elementary
school friend Cindy started her family before she turned 20.
Other friends had one or two kids by their mid-20s. All of
them began lamenting on the 'woes of getting old' soon after.
Theory of Relativity
Age is just a number. Measurement-wise, it would mean a lot
more if we all knew that we'd live to be 100. But life doesn't
work that way. Due to any number of factors, a person's life
can be over at any age. Nothing made this truth clearer in
my mind than the death of my older brother at age 29. Since
then, I've been grateful at each successive year of my life.
No matter where we are age-wise, there will always be people
in front of us, and people behind us. And contrary to what
we might think, our peers are growing older right along with
us. Am I the only one who thought for awhile that they didn't?
No wonder people hate high-school reunions. (Doing more math
in my head: My 15-year reunion is nigh.)
Embracing where I am: >here<
The great teacher, Life, gave me something to think about
that relates to this Annual
Day of Reflection. Yesterday, a gorgeous spring day, my
companion and I found a new walking/bike
path
in a nearby town. A good portion of the path circled around
a beautiful lake, so we decided to put on our walking shoes
and give it a try.
On our way to the path, we passed by a small playground buzzing
with children gliding on swings, hanging from bars, and running
about. Energetic voices and giggles filled the air as
we approached, especially from a little girl gripping tightly
to the swinging rings. In a split second, the girl lost her
grasp and fell to the ground. Her laughter quickly turned to
tears and crying demands to go home. The drama was swiftly
comforted away by a vigilant mommy watching from the bench
a few feet away.
As we passed by the incident, my husband remarked that in
a few minutes the little girl would be back on the playground
enjoying herself as if nothing happened. She'd forget all about
her boo-boo and be living in the present playing moment once
again. We laughed together at the truthfulness to the observation,
because we'd seen it happen countless times before. I loved
that little girl at that moment, and knew all would be
well.
Minutes later we were walking on the path that circled the
lake. It was amazingly beautiful outside, and all kinds of
people were enjoying the sunny blue sky backdrop complementing
their spring fever.
We passed by several teams of stroller-pushing
parents, dog-walking couples, and in-line skating enthusiasts,
among dozens of shoe-walkers like us. People from every age
group and fitness level were represented, including
a man in his mid-50s learning the intricacies of in-line
skating.
The most touching observation of the day came halfway
around the lake. As we approached a bend on the path, a couple
in their golden years was sitting on a path-side bench resting,
watching others go by. Every time I see a senior couple out
doing stuff together I get sentimental. It makes me think of
growing older with my beloved, sharing a lifetime of love and
commitment. When I see older couples together, I immediately
think of success.
As we passed the couple, I made a point to acknowledge them
with a friendly smile and hello, which was promptly reciprocated.
A few moments later, I reached out and held my husband's hand
in mine, thanking the beautiful senior couple in my heart.
I was experiencing so much gratitude for my youth, and all
of my fears about growing older vanished. The wise couple sitting
on the bench reminded me of something so important that I already
knew.
Today, as I embrace the number 33, I'm filled
with thankfulness and gratitude for all I've experienced in
my life. I'm especially grateful towards a certain little girl
giggling on a playground, and an old couple enjoying a
lakeside view
together on a bike path bench. (© 2005 Chris Dunmire) •
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