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Essays

Thirty-Three

Thirty-Three Posted Apr-04-2005
Annual Day of Reflection
Growing older is a process we can't get around. It doesn't matter how much money we have or how many plastic surgeries we have done to us, aging is inevitable. (For the record, I hope to remain 100% natural for a lifetime.)

When I was 10, I didn't realize the difference between 30- 40- and 50-year-olds. I lumped all adults into one category: old. In my twenties, I quickly realized the differences between age groups and learned that each season of life had certain dynamics to it.

Having passed through my 'roaring 20s', I look through the rearview mirror and understand why I had so many struggles growing into my own. Now in my 30s, I'm beginning to dive deeper into the 'wise world' of adulthood, and frankly, I've been feeling odd waves of fear washing over me.

For instance: I'll be watching old Tom and Jerry cartoons on the Boomerang channel. Somewhere between Tom stepping on the end of a hoe and getting smacked in the face, and Jerry wedging himself up through the hose spigot, I suddenly realize that I'll never be a teenager or a twenty-something again. Those days are gone. Whatever I did or didn't do no longer matters. And that frightens me.

What do I have to look forward to now? Society tells me that if I want children, I better keep up with my biological clock before it runs out. Oh, and then there's the onset of perimenopause that I get to embrace somewhere in my late 30s, before I hit FORTY. (Why isn't there a "u" in forty? I mean, it's in the number four, after all.) Meanwhile, I get to witness the aging process going on in my physical being… and let me tell you, nutrition and exercise are becoming my number one focus at this stage. And let's not leave out all of the time I waste doing age-related math in my head, "My age times two equals my Dad's age!"

When you're 10, you have your whole life in front of you. When you're 20, you embrace the freedom of early adulthood. And when you're 30, not only do you look at teenagers and think, "Man, they don't have a clue!" but also think, "I'm getting old."

Kids, Kids, Kids

Here's another twist on the whole growing up thing: Children. I think having them makes people feel older than they are. I have several same-aged friends who are parents, and they are forced to live in another dimension all together. My elementary school friend Cindy started her family before she turned 20. Other friends had one or two kids by their mid-20s. All of them began lamenting on the 'woes of getting old' soon after.

Theory of Relativity

Age is just a number. Measurement-wise, it would mean a lot more if we all knew that we'd live to be 100. But life doesn't work that way. Due to any number of factors, a person's life can be over at any age. Nothing made this truth clearer in my mind than the death of my older brother at age 29. Since then, I've been grateful at each successive year of my life.

No matter where we are age-wise, there will always be people in front of us, and people behind us. And contrary to what we might think, our peers are growing older right along with us. Am I the only one who thought for awhile that they didn't? No wonder people hate high-school reunions. (Doing more math in my head: My 15-year reunion is nigh.)

Embracing where I am: >here<

The great teacher, Life, gave me something to think about that relates to this Annual Day of Reflection. Yesterday, a gorgeous spring day, my companion and I found a new walking/bike path in a nearby town. A good portion of the path circled around a beautiful lake, so we decided to put on our walking shoes and give it a try.

On our way to the path, we passed by a small playground buzzing with children gliding on swings, hanging from bars, and running about. Energetic voices and giggles filled the air as we approached, especially from a little girl gripping tightly to the swinging rings. In a split second, the girl lost her grasp and fell to the ground. Her laughter quickly turned to tears and crying demands to go home. The drama was swiftly comforted away by a vigilant mommy watching from the bench a few feet away.

As we passed by the incident, my husband remarked that in a few minutes the little girl would be back on the playground enjoying herself as if nothing happened. She'd forget all about her boo-boo and be living in the present playing moment once again. We laughed together at the truthfulness to the observation, because we'd seen it happen countless times before. I loved that little girl at that moment, and knew all would be well.

Minutes later we were walking on the path that circled the lake. It was amazingly beautiful outside, and all kinds of people were enjoying the sunny blue sky backdrop complementing their spring fever.

We passed by several teams of stroller-pushing parents, dog-walking couples, and in-line skating enthusiasts, among dozens of shoe-walkers like us. People from every age group and fitness level were represented, including a man in his mid-50s learning the intricacies of in-line skating.

The most touching observation of the day came halfway around the lake. As we approached a bend on the path, a couple in their golden years was sitting on a path-side bench resting, watching others go by. Every time I see a senior couple out doing stuff together I get sentimental. It makes me think of growing older with my beloved, sharing a lifetime of love and commitment. When I see older couples together, I immediately think of success.

As we passed the couple, I made a point to acknowledge them with a friendly smile and hello, which was promptly reciprocated. A few moments later, I reached out and held my husband's hand in mine, thanking the beautiful senior couple in my heart. I was experiencing so much gratitude for my youth, and all of my fears about growing older vanished. The wise couple sitting on the bench reminded me of something so important that I already knew.

Today, as I embrace the number 33, I'm filled with thankfulness and gratitude for all I've experienced in my life. I'm especially grateful towards a certain little girl giggling on a playground, and an old couple enjoying a lakeside view together on a bike path bench. (© 2005 Chris Dunmire)

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Ongoing Tidbits...

Ernestina Gallina's Rockin' Pansy Painting Project on Creativity Portal

Chris Dunmire's Creative Careers in the Arts Interview (Summer 2008)

Michael Feldman's 'Whad'Ya Know?' Radio Show

May 2008 Tidbit Archives

Free Printable Free-Range Ant Farm Poster

Nit Wits #42: Politically Correct Free-Range Ant Farm

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Free Project: How to Make Your Own Desktop Zen Garden for Under $10

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Our Dynamic Human Nature: GROW with the FLOW

26 Simple Ways to Nurture Your Creative Life

Chris's 26 Ways to Nurture Your Creative Life »

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