How I Made $17,000 on an eBay Auction

Note to Readers: This story is a complete work of humorous fiction and was written for my 2005 online April Fool's Day Joke. Don't believe a word of it! And make sure you read the rest of the story...

Jimmy Durante Strawberry Posted Apr-1-2005
Forget men wearing wedding dresses and Grilled Cheese Virgin Mary's. I have an eBay story that you'll find hard to believe.

Below is a scan of the newspaper article about the lucky find I auctioned off on eBay for $17,000 to a Jazz museum in New York. Who would have thought such a treasure could be found in a plastic quart container of fresh strawberries from the grocery store?

Under the scanned clipping is the entire article reprinted with permission from the April 1, 2005 Chicago Journal.

From the Chicago Journal, Friday, April 1, 2005

‘Jimmy Durante’ strawberry auctions for $17,000

The Associated Press

CHICAGO, Illinois — A strawberry said to be the reincarnate of “The Great Schnozzola” Jimmy Durante has sold on the eBay auction Web site for $17,000.

A New York Jazz museum confirmed the purchase of the strawberry, saying it was “a testimony of the enduring spirit of night club jazz and Jimmy Durante.”

Jimmy Durante was a comedian, singer and songwriter who began his career as a Coney Island pianist, and organized a five-piece band in 1916. He appeared in the Broadway musicals “Show Girl”, “The New Yorkers”, “Strike Me Pink”, “Jumbo”, “Red Hot and Blue”, and “Stars in Your Eyes” (Source: imdb.com).

The museum curator, Hue Chilogoo, plans on adding the new strawberry acquisition to the existing Jimmy Durante exhibition, “Get inta da act.” It will be displayed in a clear refrigerated case next to his hats.

Chris Dunmire (www.chrisdunmire.com) from Chicago, says she discovered the strawberry two weeks ago while washing a quart of the fruit bought at Woodman’s Market. “He was right there staring back at me with that big ‘Hotch-cha-cha-cha-cha’ nose. I had no doubt it was [Jimmy] because earlier that day I saw him in a Warner Bros. Looney Toon cartoon on the Boomerang channel. That was no coincidence... it had to be synchronicity.”

By the time the strawberry auction closed on Wednesday the sale had received over 2.4 million hits on the auction site.

“We are so thankful that Mrs. Dunmire didn’t eat the strawberry.” Chilogoo said. “Who knows when Jimmy would have reincarnated again.”

Dunmire says she wouldn’t have thought of doing such a thing. “Jimmy Durante meant so much to so many people in the music world. I’m mortified to even think about having eaten that sweet, succulent strawberry.”

To be sure the strawberry would be esteemed the same by its new owner, Dunmire specified in her auction description that it would only be released to a buyer who would “promise not to eat it.” •
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